“So there’s this video game where Queen Victoria takes the British Empire into space and you travel around it on a steam engine that flies through the sky. Except in this story Victoria also turned Tsarevitch Alexis Romanov into a star to cure him of his haemophilia, and he’s attended to by a big flock of eldritch beings who look like Mary Poppins, and wait, hang on a minute, come back” —